Hurt or Heal: Ignoring Emotional Wounds Will Make Things Worse

Life’s a rollercoaster, right?  One minute you’re on top of the world, and the next, you’re dealing with a hurt that feels like a punch to the gut.

But what happens when you don’t take the time to heal from that hurt?  Spoiler alert: It’s not pretty.

If you’re walking around with unresolved pain, it’s like carrying a ticking time bomb—one that’s bound to explode at the worst possible moment.

And trust me, you don’t want to be the one splattering your unhealed wounds all over the people who least deserve it.

Hurt or heal? Let’s dive into why healing is so crucial and how you can start the process today.

Why Ignoring Your Pain Is a Bad Idea

First things first, let’s talk about what happens when you don’t deal with your emotional wounds.

It’s not just about feeling a bit off or moody now and then.  The effects can be way more intense and far-reaching than you might think.

Emotional Whiplash

Ever find yourself reacting to something small in a way that even surprises you?  That’s your unhealed pain talking.

When you bottled up your hurt, it doesn’t go away—it just sits there, waiting for a chance to boil over.

Suddenly, you’re lashing out or breaking down over something that shouldn’t be a big deal.

According to a study published in the Journal of Affective Disorders, individuals with unresolved trauma are significantly more likely to experience chronic mental health issues (Bisson & Cosgrove, 2020).

Strained Relationships

Unresolved pain is like a shadow that follows you around, creeping into your relationships and causing trouble.

You might start to mistrust people, even if they’ve done nothing wrong, or find it hard to get close to anyone.

The fear of getting hurt again can keep you from opening, leading to loneliness and even more pain.

A research article in The Family Journal highlights how unresolved pain can lead to attachment issues and difficulties in forming healthy relationships (Johnson & Greenman, 2021).

Your Body Pays the Price

Believe it or not, your body feels your emotional pain just as much as your heart does.

Stress from unhealed wounds can lead to headaches, sleepless nights, and even more serious health issues like high blood pressure.

It’s your body’s way of saying, “Hey, something’s wrong here!”

The American Psychological Association (2022) reports that prolonged emotional stress is linked to increased inflammation in the body, which is a precursor to many chronic illnesses.

Stuck in the Past

When you don’t heal, it’s like being stuck in a time loop, constantly reliving the hurt over and over again.

This makes it nearly impossible to move forward in life.  New opportunities, new relationships, new anything…none of it can truly thrive when you’re still anchored to the past.

So, How Do You Start Healing?

Glad you asked!  Healing isn’t about “getting over it” or pretending everything’s fine.  It’s a journey, and it’s one that requires some real effort. 

Here’s how:

1 – Face the Pain Head-On

• The first step is always the hardest, right?  Acknowledge that you’re hurting.  It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling—anger, sadness, disappointment.  Recognising the pain is the first step towards healing.

• You can’t fix a problem if you don’t first admit it’s there.

2 – Talk to Someone Who Gets It

• Whether it’s a therapist, a counsellor, or just a good friend, talking it out can do wonders.  Professional support, like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), can help you reframe negative thoughts and start the healing process in a healthy way.

• Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) has been proven effective in helping individuals reframe negative thought patterns and heal from trauma (Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy, 2021).

3 – Forgiveness is for You

• Holding onto grudges is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.  Forgiveness isn’t about letting anyone off the hook; it’s about releasing yourself from the grip of your pain.

• When you forgive, you take back your power. When you forgive, you take back control, and that’s a powerful feeling.

4 – Prioritise Self-Care

• Self-care isn’t just bubble baths and marathon watching your favourite shows (though that’s great, too).  It’s about finding what recharges you—whether it’s meditation, exercise, or picking up a new hobby.

• Mindfulness practices, such as meditation and deep breathing, have been shown to reduce stress and improve emotional regulation (Mindfulness Research and Practice, 2023).

• Find what recharges your spirit and make it a regular part of your routine.

5 – Set Boundaries

• If certain people or situations are triggering your pain, it’s time to set some boundaries.  Protecting your emotional health is key to healing, so don’t be afraid to step back when you need to.

6 – Celebrate Your Wins

• Healing is a journey, and it’s important to celebrate every step forward.  Don’t wait until you’re fully healed to celebrate—acknowledge the little victories along the way.

• Did you get through a tough day without losing your cool?  That’s a win!  Did you let go of a grudge that’s been weighing you down?  Huge win!

• Practicing gratitude can help shift your focus from pain to the good stuff in life.

• Recognise your progress and keep moving forward.

7 – Surround Yourself with Positivity

• Ever notice how some people just drain your energy?  Cut them loose!  Fill your circle with people who lift you up, inspire you, and make you feel good about yourself, and seek out environments that promote positivity and growth.

• Building a support network of positive influences can greatly aid in your healing journey.

• Positivity breeds positivity.

8 – Focus on Personal Growth and Gratitude

• Healing opens the door to personal growth.  Focus on learning from your experiences and cultivating a mindset of gratitude. 

• Research in positive psychology shows that practicing gratitude can shift your focus from pain to appreciation, fostering emotional resilience (Emmons & McCullough, 2022).

Final Thoughts: The Power of Healing

Here’s the truth: When you heal, you don’t just patch up the wounds—you transform them into something powerful. 

You become stronger, wiser, and more resilient.  Your relationships improve, your outlook on life brightens, and you finally get to move forward without the weight of the past holding you back.

Healing isn’t just about feeling better; it’s about becoming the best version of yourself.  

So, take that first step today.  Acknowledge the pain, start the healing process, and watch how your life begins to change for the better.